My Name is Moron, HERE ARE MY POEMS

Two-step around the bullets

Monkey clown

Bugs Bunny trenchancy, animated for you

Honk honk on the doorbell

One more sip for my electric liver

Alcohol epilogue

Cobbled crown of elementary school art

Hurts to hold, hot to hands

Broken neck but eyes still bright

Wilted but vital

Wicked but victorious

Wicked skin

Wrestle the genius out of my swamp

Please, empty my fridge

Regrow the fig leaves

Ghost garden at midnight

Your tears pop on my face

Take off your clothes

Prove my divinity with your moisture

Please

Help me remember, jig joker

Jingle around my lantern

Count the folds

It’s impossible, inscrutable shape

Rippling like syrup on a banjo

Eyes wide in the sealife museum

The abacus once got to 887

Lost count when the math engine stalled

I only regret the pages I lost

A book with books inside it

Butterfly geometry, glowing coral

Music from Saturn

Listen closely but do it with your eyes

Fingerbone vibrations

Being blind was never so pleasant

The train crashes at dusk

887 angels squirm out of the metal

No one is hurt, everyone cheers

Madame Acrylic

Empress of Empires

See the 4D flag flapping in the anthem

Butterfly geometry, glowing coral

Music from Saturn

No more eggs inside you

Why are you still hive mounted

The chamber is white hot

The proteins are void

Cooking you

Cooking me

Cooked into the walls

Only dead workers work these halls

Drone chores, drone bores

Moving from shade to shade

Shade/ows not for shade/ows sake

But for safety’s sake, it hurts to see the light

Oven of eggs, coven of dregs

If I work hard enough

You won’t scream the flesh off of my bones

So I must work

I must chore

Drone

The rumbling shakes the powder loose

Breaks all ankles

It’s fine, I got lots of legs, ankles in storage

You are not the eggs

You are not the heat

You are not me

You are the light

Go into it

Before I scream the flesh off your bones

Abandon the voice

That reveres itself

The animal must bite to play

Bury my id

It will only land-mine the dance

And I came to lose myself

Let’s undo the dam

Wash away the human

Thin the divinity

No white cloth has authority here

And this is no place for referees

Only the roar

Play in the flood

Trust me

Play is blood

Liberation in this damage

Crack my knuckles on your prophecy

It is useless here

And I want nothing more

Than to play

Play so hard

In our disintegration

Every time I’ve ever lost

Is trivia

In a hell pub no one visits

But to look around?

To smell the humiliation?

Witness my salt?

To worship my own end?

Paradise frenzy

A soothing clot

Absolute transcendence

So hear me out

Losing is outdated

This isn’t about me versus you

It’s about NOTHING versus NOTHING

Nothing makes room for the child

That pup takes over

And brings the bliss of brutality

Between the formless collision

So I’ll ask you once more

Kindly

Lovingly

As we bash each other’s face bones

Into marrow paint on the concrete

Do we want to keep score?

Or do we want to love?

Cuz the playground closes at midnight

And I’m all out of ego now

So let’s become infinity

And berserk ourselves into candy

I’m so excited

To never lose again

 Remember those stanzas? 

The ones blasting stereo Americana

On the road to Breckenridge

Where we couldn’t breathe

And passed air mouth to mouth?

The ones on the top of the parking garage

Adrift in the humid mountain

Where goodbyes shook the clouds

But no rain came out?

The bye was still good

The ones where the snow filled the wheel well

And we traded fictional baseball cards

Before the Horsetooth arbitrator?

The ones where we stepped back

Into our own sidewalk bootprints

Train track ice bath so cold it was funny

Waiting for a train to Never, Arizona?

There’s not enough paper

For these stanzas

It hurts so bad to long for the once was

And the never again

Yet

It feels so good to taste the no longer

To flip through the 16 bit photos

Remember those notes?

The ones where the story unrolled like a carpet

When we walked the streets for food

And pulled wrestlemania from the trees

Trespassing into memories

Past the 2am picket fences?

I do

It’s all I ever do

Smelling every tumbleweed

That carries your scent

As the bandages go on

And the priests scoop out my thinking jelly

I feel how badly

I miss you

And how hard you stamped your name

Into the guest book

So hard it cracked the leather

Every concert

Every party

Every cardboard drawing

Every message board tirade

Is a stone in the dam

That stops me from drowning

In that final cruel river

Breaking bread for you

Over the hearth

Rooted in the yesterday

The heat still cooks

And the wine was never finer

I ask that you come back

Knowing you never will

Which is its own joy

Live

For you

For me

Temporal beacon

Your light

Makes this all

Okay

 As the horrors came and went

We somehow saw

A gleam in the gold

Knife marks in the support beams

Strange little miracle

That devious whisper

When we snuck below the glass

Under the cover of darkness

And picked open the tabernacle

We saw for ourselves

Just a cup and a wand, chargeless

Bread crumbled in the grape juice

Dogma devoid

…there is no devourer

No promises survived

That moment

Talk about your all time backfires

We’re taking this organ with us

And rectifying those profane hymns

As above so below

Now we swell in the key of joy major

Messengers, piercings, sin and song

Liars, games, right and wrong

There’s no flies in the Rosemary

No blood in the cream

Save it all for the feast

And D R E A M

We’d ask you to join us

But you’d prefer to cower under the old cross

Than be on fire with beauty

God damn shame

Sad cowards

Alas

We’ve opened the gates

And say with relief

“Welcome to the garden

Strobe light angels”

There are no violations

There never were

I found a basement

Underneath the basement

I might die down here

Black Mold Security System (TM)

Must be this sick to ride this ride

Cough your way back upstairs, junior

You shouldn’t be reading

These old magazines anyway

Glint of a glint through the floorboards

Harmonic bronze, that real cheap shit

If you survived the narcissism

You know what I mean

They don’t make ‘em like this anymore

Read the plaque in the flashlight

“Best Extension Of Others, 1995”

If it’s too heavy

Just pour out the larvae

Jackass genius

Squish

You don’t count unless you don’t fawn

Please don’t fawn

I’ll make another basement for your bones

I just want to move on my own

Remove my marble

Echoes in the quarry

Take it but come back so you can

Sing sing pretty girl

Tell me no even though

We both know no isn’t real

No yes no yes

An ocean of sailor’s stories

Grab the mast I’m tied to and

Sing sing pretty girl

The wax means nothing

My Venus

Event horizon hair

Tell the story of your curved stone

You beautiful fossil

Lost in your last chance

ONE LAST CHANCE

To remember the rosewater

Every whisper is a recipe for mercury

In your very own record

Akashic citations, footnotes that don’t lie

Sink onto the secret 

And I will look under the bed

Negotiate with the monsters

Master’s Monsters

They belong to me now

I want to put my hand in the water

And know the PH

Of every creature that has ever lived

Whimpered

Begged

Fallen

Ever

Sing sing

Sharp enough to carve stones

Until they’re curved

Pretty girl

You got this, momma bear

Claws virulent with tonic

Awestruck the progeny

Grateful boy

6th gear folklore

Pounded into power

Policy haymaker

Injustice turnbuckle

Spinning Star revelations from the top rope

Inscribe the recipe for cough syrup

Onto my construction paper

Ride the pride into the confidence

I’ve turned my cholera into tonic

With your sheet music

Immunity eruption into flea flight

Larger than any mountain

Maintain this mountain goat

Buckle under nothing

Chord of horn shakes the nutrients loose

I am so strong

I am wings over woman, hailstorm umbrella

Momma bear

Empty my sad into the toilet

Goldfish graveyard

Tooth fairy truth

I am so strong

Can’t even lift a shovel

Not for the creator, anyway

So here I am

Wishing for one more flashlight

As I talk to the dirt

Apparently only your graveyard matters

We’ve all tried to convince you

That you’re alive

But how can it matter

When you go to sleep with a gun in your mouth

Stop cursing your own name

Coward

It’s only as bad as you’ve rendered it

On papyrus you took from the pyramid

Catholic quill

Striking your own back

So drained, waiting for your flashlight

This is as much yours as it is mine

No matter what your apostles say

If you’re going to flee

You should follow my markers

I know how it hurts

Though

You don’t really trust me

Someday you’ll see

How I don’t want your land

Alas

I am alone

Because you don’t know how to grow

And I hate you

For forsaking our plot

Stand up, little brother

Wipe your tears

There is more in the garden

Than the toys you buried

She doesn’t want this

Loudly proclaiming from heaven

You’d hear it

If you weren’t afraid to make your bed

Hiding under it

Coward

Grow for us

I dare you

Plots are a part of life

Pull the levers until your wrists are powder

Like mine, look!

The truth is in the fracture

Bold pilot

Learn to coerce the anthem

From the bleak

And fly forward

Upward

Onward

Mecha magician

After all

War is sacred

In this family

The Gunpowder Gospel

Is our bedtime balm

Dream of my beams

And count my warheads

Armor kisses on the foreheads

For every orphaned child soldier

Madness smile in the war fog

Don’t even act unsoothed

I can hear your heartbeat over comms

No lost love

For the oceans of home

We run Mars now

On legs of steel

Ferro fibrous joints

That will never be sore again

How splendid!

To blur the line

Between deployment and death

Shake off the endless dust

Minerals you will learn to metabolize

Copper in our breath collectors

FUCK THIS FEELS GOOD

Let’s apocalypse the horizon

And collapse the black hole

In our own magnificent gravity

Cripple me over and over, pilot

I can only love when captured

And I can only talk when tortured

War is heaven

I know the words

They ricochet around my charcoal

Every damn day

Another sigh in B minor

From another

Wondrous angel

Sentenced again with no defense

Complete submission

Before the weeping jury

Crying

On my behalf

Even though I asked them to stop

I wish it were simple

But

You’ve done nothing wrong

You’ve done everything right

Love is a bullet

Loaded for the young rippers

The children with their own drums

Little violators

Gaveled again, recidivist fate

Knowing better doesn’t prune the thorns

I’m so sorry

For this tedious deficiency

The money in the bank bank bank

Doesn’t make up up up

For these 2 empty holsters

Going into business with me

Friend, foe, brother, mother

Means dehydration

Jerky corpse with water all around

Saltwater dunes

Broadcasts lost to the wasteland

For whatever it’s worth

The war I barely won

Cost me my wells

I’m dry too

If I could take it all back

And lose instead

I’d already be in a wheelchair

Tilting up your chin

In the dawn promise

I do, I promise

And you know it

Forgive my broken branches

Audacious honeyed thorns

Whispering open my euphoria

Agave and corn shake hands

Their Invincible Treaty: Published!!!

So proud, so smoky

I’d care but not caring is the nectar

Who am I to change the rules?

The leaf that studies the mind

War god’s wisdom, learning in the sun

Gently folded lectures in latin

A diagram of empathy on dark brown paper

“Insert sensory penalties here”. Yum.

This fragrance is 90% of your grade

I’d stop but not stopping is the spice

Who am I to throw out those labors?

Glistening jello temptation

100 hypertones signal a reset

BIG BEES GANGBANG PETITE FLOWER

The system has corrupted itself once again

But I knew it would, that’s the fun part

I’d turn it off but

Oh never mind I’m empty

I’ve never seen so few colors

In a syringe so M A G N E T I C

Just crack it open and drink, chief

No time for that “3 in, 6 out” bullshit

Finally, lastly, ultimately, brutally

The pickaxe opium

RAPTURE

There is no man here, only bronze

A eulogy before I’m even in the ground

Don’t stop, you’re not rich yet

No one is rich yet

Who am I to exist out loud?

Scorch fate up that mission highway

The whole crew is here

Archetypes behind the wheel

Race the reaper for prosperity

And wave his flag

Ready…

To steal

To live

To validate

GO!

8 cylinder beast roaring purpose

Spit the rebel’s oil, adventurer

So we know you belong

We already like you

But need to need you

A cut for every sword

Jaws hanging

As you grapple the grappling hook

Mount the stampede

And leap out of your grave before us

WELCOME! Knuckles touch for you here

Frail invincibility is the only tax

He could get you at any moment

But we both know

This is the real heaven

Cropped tops in the asphalt treehouse

Puke that sick white smoke

Drink your beer while we all cheer

Now we get to love you

I hope you’re ready

To steal from the world

Because fuck them

They made us this way

8AM tuneup, then we slam

When she waves her handkerchief

We build our world

At the speed of light and vibrance

Nissan Chariot

VROOM VROOM, MOTHERFUCKERS

THIS ALL BELONGS TO US

You’re late to the thing AGAIN

And now I’ve gone prostrate

In front of this IMPORTANT FIGURE

Your silly promises are never kept

Promises are just houseflies to you

You’ve made another perfect circus, Douglas

You absolute card

We stayed up late

Writing that IMPORTANT DOCUMENT

We schemed this scheme together

Falling asleep in the pizza

Together

You’ve made me into a donkey again, Douglas

You shining star

Reminds me of that time

You seduced that IMPORTANT CELEBRITY

We weren’t even supposed to meet!

And you told her I was a sick child

Imagine my surprise when she showed up

With a brand new wheelchair for me

I don’t even need a wheelchair

You’ve dropped my swim trunks again, Douglas

You shocking devil!

I’ll give you a piece of my mind later

When we meet at that IMPORTANT BAR

And when I go to hit you with a pool cue

We’ll end up playing 9 Ball instead

With IMPORTANT SCARY MOTORCYCLE MEN

And I’ll get stomped into jelly in an alley

After YOU steal their money

You peed my pants again, Douglas

You wretched

Fucking

Curse

Everyone loves you

So I must love you

When the studio lights go out

And nothing has been learned

And justice hasn’t been made

And I’m melting in the street

I’ll look upon you fondly

For the ratings

I hate you Douglas

Kick over the dumpster, seamstress

Look at that wet origami of discards

Toys, jars, clothes, and shredded tires

Expertly pluck the berries

From the mold

Eagle eyes in rainy skies

Pupils so large the whole storm fits inside

Eye of the storm

Ingest its meteorological history

And generate the jacket

Needles in your teeth like pirate’s knives

You already smell the treasure

When you unroll the maps

You’ve made

In your sleep

I hope you get to sleep

Carrying all those jackets

Your aura is green and gold

So comedically appropriate

Minty vapors and painted teeth

Selling truth on the street

Heroine healing

I like walking with you, seamstress

Even when my knees hurt

I’ll do it as long as I can afford it

I’ll sell this liver keeping me alive

If I must

Excited to wear this jacket

Measure my universe

Learn my colors

Show me the berries you plucked

From my mold

Thank you

Collect the court!

It is time to decide

Whether we forget our guts

For flavor that stretches into the past

If it is deemed

To be one of those blessed days

Driven by reprobates

Where inhibition annihilates sense

Then we shall celebrate

Over wrapped protein

Synthetic song

Frozen future

Blast the good doctor’s words!

Too gelatinous to classify as food

And it is utterly glorious

To abandon all vitality

For these sweet 

Corn syrup candy meals

Castle trumpets honk with every bite

Sickening sweet pucker

Wrapped in hydroxyl

For maximum adoration

No endorphins ever gripped the peace

This perfectly

Sunlight in my neurotoxins

Coconut Agave Mall

Where I write from a bottle

Much kinder than the system

No shame here, glass lecturer

Uncork the limón poison

And

Teach me how to indulge

Even when the charts

Have marked the time of death

I came here for a good time

Not a living time

Sodium reaper

Green onion judge

Tequila reparations, class irrelevant

Let me taste you, and cover myself

In shame

Moved across state lines by emergency workers

In refrigerator trucks

Meant to deliver the good news

“You are only here today”

Tomorrow isn’t even real

I

Once again

Somehow surviving the shame

But just barely

An iodine sky covers the hope

And I remember what it means

To hate yourself

I

Can’t

Stand

Up

Loathing that writes its glee

Into the crash

Brain wrapped around a tree

So delicious

This routine catastrophe

I

Warn you

If you pull back the car

The necrosis will roam

And the crash will finish the job

I wouldn’t trade it

For any long life

We’re only here today

No matter what god says

I don’t need anything from you

Except please shut the fuck up

While I descend

I

I get overstimulated

Arrogant egocentric “I”

No one else exists

But the solipsist choir

10 I’s

20 eyes

Seeing only escape

From this cave-in I caused

I beg you

Look away please

While I double over

Intestines wrapped around a photo

Where you do not remain

But I wish you did

Help me move on

Trained from birth to love

The light from your mouth melts the ice

Even your shadow is warm

We children, all around you

Sneak us sugar cubes before dinner

In exchange, lessons that glimmer

Fireflies over your grass

“Take a seat everyone!”

It’s time to visit every attraction

That man ever built

The cost of admission is just a smile

As we cross the threshold

Into everything

Feet dangle whimsically over the seat

The route is littered with monuments

We all built

You hand us the clay

That hardens in your sun

The train picks up speed!

Mountains! Oceans! Gods!

Empires rise and fall!

Stuck to the window, eyes wide

The lore unfolds like a supernova

Benevolent milkshakes in the parlor car

Have nothing on this

Infinite amazement

Primordial sibling

From the same forgotten land

Where gods die

But drums still beat for them

Let’s snuff those drums

And prepare our own feast

Caretake the innocent

Protect the protectors

Duties we share and don’t need to discuss

Because purpose is already laid bare

On the Stonehenges we survived

Chase the dinosaurs and

Run alongside the great cats

A melody from the spear flute

That summons every invader

Every centipede

Crushed underfoot, don’t look back

We are the best of the best

I hope we both get to know that

When the sun goes down

When the fire dies

And even though I’ve painted you

I can’t paint you

But

I don’t need to

The bards will sing your song

Even after the drums stop beating

Keep running up the summit
And take the sun

It’s yours after all

You just need to know that

I hope we both get to know that

But I’ll trade my knowledge for yours

If it means you ascend

Not even the big cats

Have teeth as sharp as yours

12 great sails!

Teal and purple cloth

Catching all the wind

All the birds

All the shanties

Morale explodes into fireworks

The sea joins the chorus

Forever into the blue!

Don’t mind this barnacled hull

Soaked in red

Neatly rotten (still treated, everyday)

It still gets to go forever into the blue

With these 12 great sails!

What a vision! What a victory!

The fastest ship on all of Neptune’s moons

Somehow warm

Despite the absolute zero

No need for a scarf here

The sails grab the embers

And make fire

A smooth bore on my belt

The trigger I’ll never pull

I’d rather be killed than kill

Stay in the chamber, mermaid metal

So we can go

Forever into the blue!

Me and you!

Priestly crew!

Let’s carry the god’s dice off the edge of the world

And see what’s really out there

Look me in my fucking eyes

Little blood brother

Strike me again

So I can swing back

Magnificent counter

Breath of love

Meet me at the volcano

And hug me with your fists

Infuriate me with your knuckles

Knuckle brother

I dare you

You recalcitrant genius

It’s an honor to chip away the bone

To smash every tooth

And regrow fangs

That we can look at in the mirror together

I just want you to think my fangs are cool

When you yelled at me I felt whole

Your rage fills a void

That truth abandoned

Many books ago

We both have so many crumbling temples

But limestone comes in from every corner

Of our empires

Meet me in the mist

And strike my strike

Forearms explode into ketchup

Velvet redemption

Copper in the mouth

Gratitude spit

One more broken tooth

Cue the laughter

Good boy

Best boy

Favorite boy

Blood boy

Fight me forever

When the will pierced the flames

And the terrors became ghosts

When we finally fell into our tears

Knees first

Having colonized the blasphemy with light

At the cost of ourselves

We remained

When we had to pick our skin back up

Piece by piece

Heaving at the smell of our own death

When we were scraped off the legend by a dragon

It was we who remained

Not a dragon

Not death

There is not a single moment of regret

Nor a single note of waste

Nor a single echo of look back

In admiring your blade

And the color of your dusk

I watch your sleeping face in the glow

Of the safety we made for each other

It is my noble privilege

To be on watch for we

And remember

My kraken of the earth

My living forge

My friend

When I am dust blown off the history book

When you are a puddle in a hoofprint

When the scribes are broken

And the gods are just statues in the dark

It will be okay

Because we remained

Thank the foul manipulators above

That we had the wherewithal

And the bruises

To listen to the ants when we kissed the mud

“We survives I.”

A stern walk up and down

The sidelines

Fist pumping as I shoot my 3’s

And miss

(I’m not a baller, I’m a paint mixer)

I see your chorus

And miss you

From 11 feet away

In the paint

Witchy wiccan make believe

Psychic songbird

The truth is the air in your installation

So I’ll sign the dotted

To remain

In your belief

My belief machine may need life support

But it will be fine

Cuz someone believes

Karma thorns in your rose bush

Broken spine beauty

So electric it crackles the static

And sidelines spells are only one of your gifts

You’re the real MVP

And the sidelines are just a hobby

Rustle your chain, diamond teeth

Slam dunk paladin

Smoke your

Rose Petal Tiger Vixen

Pirate Bubblegum Miami Mint Cigar Vape

In your own fuckin casino

So I can remember to look up

And build my own slots

Lucky 7 Momma

Gold Bell Pitboss

3 Cherries Playboy

We all work for you

What in the fuck happened here?!

There was a story in this soil

Now there is a crater

And not even the cockroaches survived

I am still punching out of my grave

How high did the flames reach?

I can see 100 spears in me

And hear a hole in the heart of my realm

Made by a black hole

You shot out of a siege weapon

In my pathetic last breaths

I wondered why I was meant for obliteration

What I remember

I that I was planting corn and plums

In the quiet summer

When I heard the sound of 11,000 horses

The council sent me

An infinitely stupid

Naive

Fucking

Moron

To parley

To sing our most hospitable and enchanting songs

But you hated my voice so much

That you spent two months sawing my head off

And feeding it to the dogs

Dead dog

More important than my entire civilization

You should have just killed my ego that night

Removed my bones

And stampeded over a graveyard

Instead of a man

I’ve never felt less loved

A sickness campaign

That you’ve never subjected

Any other nation to

I’m such a fool, but that’s irrelevant

Dead men don’t jingle

I wish my corn

And my plums

Were sufficient tribute

How can it possibly be as cruel

As insufficient tribute?

Recite your cruelty

While looking into my lifeless eyes

I know you won’t, coward

It burns, and now I sink

Those fields were not yours to salt

You fucking piano burner

Give me back my self

I left glass in the sand

To remind myself

How to bleed

Pass the salt, nurse

I haven’t learned my lesson yet

Not the healthiest fruit in the orchard

But at least I got fences

Scroll through all the scrolls

And you’ll see 

A lost boy’s guide to flying

Lunatic manual

It makes a little sense, but it hurts quite a lot

Good enough for government work

Exhume my blah blah blah

To see all the blah blah blah

Stop rambling, soldier

You’re giving yourself a headache

And your clip is still empty

How can you not want to live

When this life is full of so many beautiful twists*

Flowers* on a windowsill

Give them* a sniff

And remember your role**

*Lies

** Hanged Man, lucky number 12

When all that was left was a skeleton

You switched from piercing to bludgeoning

A trick you only knew

Because of my incessant rambling

Stop listening

Sentence me

Like I sentenced myself

At least I can lift weights in the yard

An arrogant kiss of my own biceps

Before my Hindenburg Day

Peter Pan pilot

Kaboom

If you love me, you’ll end me properly

In accordance with the Geneva Conventions

It’s what the soldier wants

Even though the doctor plucks the glass

And begs the blood

To stop

Few things have hurt as bad

As you looking at my work-in-progress

And seeing steel

Instead of a watercolor mix tape

For every single crush

It may be childish but it’s not war

You see

I didn’t give you the knife

I just didn’t

Take it away

Thanks

But no thanks

Autonomy is not war

Now clap with me, diva

To the rhythm of your joke

Where you are your own punchline

I only laugh and clap

Because it’s okay

To hate yourself

That is also not mine to take away

Despite my non-violations

I dream of exoneration

From your sentence

I wish I mattered

I didn’t want that responsibility

And I left the gate open

Every

Single

Day

If you want to kick me down the stairs

For my flames

For my bees

Or my dirty water

Then kick away

But don’t do you dare

Assign that heart-breaking machine to me

You drew that into my blueprint

After throwing away my watercolors

Towering thorns

Pale green in the stalk

This is my burden

And it became yours

When I begged to be alone

Shaking demeanor

On egg whites

Cooked in the late night

For the sleepy diners

You were red eyed

In the hopeful AM

It’s not an excuse

It’s a plea bargain

Broken are the wheels

Please empathize

And put down the throwing knives

Cursed are the valves

That pump the love

Heart drum silenced by the cold

I’m trying

To take the pressure off the wound

Long not already leaking

Hypervigilant hyperdrive

Collision course conundrum

I can’t show you

What’s behind

My eyelids

Try to trust

My shame

The particles in the accelerator

Scratch your whiteboard

And tease out one more shove

Towards the antimatter

We can’t explode anymore

At the end of the idea

I saw the glass

And the beauty

Of the spritely spirit

That demands care

From wrinkled hands

Inside the psionic silence

Between sworn friends / foes

Desperately scrying, trying

Otherside hopeful healing

A star crossed clash

How do the Minotaur

And the Fairy

Share a leaf

After the century has ended?

Split my king hairs

Over the chessboard

And let them fall into the queen space

If you tell me

I’ll owe you forever

I just want to love

I won’t let you fall apart

If I do, I will too

Truth blades on the whetstones

Unsterilized runaway

The comets stop

Before the archer nocks her pencil

To stop the decay

The ugliness world, no shine

Our glass is so delicate

And sometimes I can’t see you

It doesn’t mean

I left the lighthouse

Alas I beg you

Carry the one and spot my cancer

Before I crumble

Like a coffee cake

In this ancient math

Maybe when it matters again

We’ll hear the hideous

Long enough for meaning

Before the fragile fragile slip away

I’m trying my best

To shine the light on you

I won’t let you fall apart

It’s not too late for me

I’ll tell you a secret

But you must listen with burnt, flaking ears

 And speak back with lips that can’t whistle 

The conquistadors

Were about 2500 miles off the mark

They got off the 10 way too soon

Now lean in, journeyman

If you twist a dented stereo knob

Of a 1987 Chevrolet Pickup Truck

Through the scrambled country

And past the morning sickness

You might hear the numbers

Write them down

They only come through

When the ocean knocks on the tin patio roof

Monsoon seasonal, creosote poet

Drive past the Gold Canyon billboard

Around 7 bent dirts

Is a saguaro grandfather with 3 left arms

Waving in the faithful

Scratch the numbers into styrofoam

And pin it to the pins

Wait. Submit to one sunset

Now you know the divine language of beauty

It was hidden from you this whole time

Sleep one night

If the styrofoam is gone, it worked

Wake up and brush your teeth with the scrap metal

And point that burnt ear East

You’re almost there

Drive to the end of reality

It looks like mountains but it’s a trick

Continue on foot

To the truth

In the hot dark dead end gypsum

Get as close to dying as possible

And the words will form under your eyelids

“You are lost

And that’s the point

Lost is what you were meant to be

Remove your clothes

Take your first step

Now look at what you weren’t meant to see.”

This is what they were looking for

And never found

No fountain here, just feet

Feet that can walk the galaxy

Unconstrained by maps and gold

The galaxy just needs you to be lost

But it dropped that napkin note in Arizona

You’re welcome

Shout together from 7 feet up

Part the clouds for us Heroes

Siblings

Opponents

Best friends

Professional gremlins

Ghost ride the bike

Into the gold medals

No red light can stop us little lawbreakers

Trust me ladies, we are the strongest

And the law means nothing here

Step up to get your candy cigarettes

Rolled from sugar

Cast your line into the Mariana swimming pool

Who can pull out the biggest white lie

And scream the piercing championship?

YOU ME HER HIM THEM

WE ALL WIN!

Tremble in your boots, Tyrannosaurus

We got knuckles for days

Oh shit hang on

We need sunscreen

HANG ON DUDE

And hit me with that creamy invincibility

Then you can

Imagine my imagination

Uplift my lore

Kiss my girl

And throw the baloney perfectly into my bread

After I punch you in your fuckin face

We are the coolest humans that ever lived

Short Fonzies kicking tall Jukeboxes

So they spew our space jam

Into every last voice

Resound, my friend

We bent over life

And hugged our bloody noses

Into its memory

Smiley faces in the plasma

Gotta blast out of here again

To starry LA

Where razor stars cut the beach dreams

And leave only ribbons

Contractually obligated

To be stripped and whipped

To run mouth

Promotion Prometheus

Innards all over the message

But I’ll be god damned

If I don’t have fun

Because LA

Was built for the mentally unwell

Writhe, naked occultists

I love hate seeing myself in your snake-oil skin

I’ll be inside you, tires pounding the baked blood

I’ve got a job to do

Cock the slide with my teeth

And reload that smile

So I can shoot money into your skull

Carry the dreams and the labor

Into the hills

Where I can roll the dice one more time 

 Off your big white teeth 

Never won before, won’t start now

In the meantime

Gotta make the most

Out of your

Misfit melange

Red stitched god ball

Leafy brothers in the Masonic Garden

Authentic ramen katsu cartography

Purple horizon palm story

But keep that gun close

In case the lies close in

Cuz even though we went to war together

We still got beef

Where’s my money

H O L L Y W O O D ?

You all thought I would crumble

When I drove into Palestine

In search of the golden unholy grail

Well fuck you

Ignorant occultist

I loathe your guesswork

Cynical magician

Weeping painter

Look upon my cracked hands

The map I made glows in the clammy palm

Blinding

Retinal scar

This victory

This isn’t my first rodeo

Clown

I’ve sacrificed more bulls

Than fables you’ve manufactured

To your mixtape myth

You must have been at the golf course

When I disconnected your camera

And heisted your value

I make that in gold on my bad days, child

Streets defeated

And riot shields shattered

Against my elegy

I brought my sephirots

Just to spite you

44 cursed appointments

69 flippant handshakes

100 lives funneled

Into ceramic grinders you never planned on

I must return to my sun throne now

But do not rest, sweet LA

I’ll be back to pluck your apples

Right out of Eve’s mouth

And no amount of flipped cars

Or molotov photographs

Or overpriced brioche buns

Draining the tourist

Can stop me from owning you

My art is too big

And my butterfly knife is too sharp

You found me

Hiding under my blankie

Please forgive my balk

Growing up with your cousins

Refrigerated my veins

But look at you

Soulful eyes

Curious little beauty

Hair that glistens in the skylight

How can one think about tigers

While you leap from your perch

To play

On my carousel

Gentle jumper

I know now why they sing songs about you

In Africa

I’m so sorry I plugged my ears

Reassurance from you, little ranger

You’ve already mapped this all out

Haven’t you?

From your bounding box

Unconstrained by the liquid air

There is joy

One just has to listen

To the tiny abandon

Can I be you?

Can we scramble the gravity with silk?

Can we be kites together?

I know we can’t, but pretend is so grand

We don’t speak the same language

But try and know this

You will be protected

From all of my beasts

They will die before you do

Pinky swear

It’s hard to describe

Your tantrum dance

It’s so melodic but sawtooth to the core

And colors only Mantis Shrimp can perceive

Emanate forth

Those I loved winced in their seats

But I saw nothing but a flowery dervish

So quiet but so fast

Penning in real time an anxious memoir

Beautiful and resplendent

In oil, acrylic, and indigo

All of my hands reached out

Until I couldn’t lift an arm

And the crowd kicked out my teeth

Better mine than yours

I’ll never stop throwing the roses

Scooping up my teeth

Dodging the exile

In a collapse over the bathroom sink

Realization slams home

I can’t even see you anymore

Lenses in the dumpster

There is only a vague memory of a face

And an afterimage of a spinning woman

In a dress of swords

Scimitar shimmer

Down on one knee

Like a fool

For a ghost with long hair

The record books will tell a story

Of a fool

But that’s fine

No one knows my hubris better than me

And my seatbelt is already fastened

So audit my heart

And see for yourself

There is so much oxygen passing through

That we could all breathe

But you must stop kicking out my teeth

Help

I’m trying to find her

So I can confess

The stage was built for her

And she can do with it what she wishes

Please call / please help

I am in love

And need two tablespoons of Nutmeg

To stop the dreams

Stamps of blue and gold

On twinkling proof

Of what?

I don’t know

I don’t speak this language

Am I even on time?

I have unusual things to memorize

So unusual, head scratching

There are echoes of these riddles

Under the bed where I hide my night songs

Walking in circles since stepping off

The vessel is long gone

I intend to play nice, I promise

I need to see the face speaking to me

She poked a hole in my wrist

With a knitting needle

And pulled out a silver necklace

Value was the point

But paralysis was the penalty

I’ll take it

Stardust mumbling

Demon documents

Promises of purpose

I came here to learn

There’s truth between these membranes

Why is it so scary?

This is how things are here

Occult police

Phantasm diplomats

Pamphlets for lost souls

Every boon has a price

Show me how to not pay in blood

Or am I mad?

Squinting in your light

I see the malfunction

Turn it down, lady

I already wrapped these wounds

Resenting the words

Because they’re honest

Double standard sun

Misogyny breakbeat

Drums at midnight, sound the shame

I’m sorry I’m a hypocrite

You’re so beautiful but

Your glow melts my band aids

And chews my lies into sawdust

I don’t like being reminded

That I’m just timber

Ouch

I appreciate you

But I do loathe your color

Ouch, stop

Looking for the book

In the lunar library

That corrects my song

I’m always so fucking flat

And you’re the opera

I want to be better, goddess

I want to earn you

I want to carry your banner

Into man

Before I can regret it

My eyelids are shocked open

I will never run away again

Chlorine in my shutters

A fair reminder

That I am yours

Lunar lovely

Moonbeam madness

Give us the gift of pale sunburn

So we don’t forget again

Peeling for you

SPF 10,000,000

We’re kidding ourselves

Forgive us so we can war for you

Like grandpa did

I love you

Grandpa loved you too

But I didn’t listen

Fuck

I’ve over explained again

When you’ve already forgiven me

For my malfunction

You’re too good for me

I’ll never resist again

Born underneath the sand

In the gecko desert

Proud of that abusive sun

Because it’s MY sun

And you don’t want it anyway

I know you can smell the wind dirt

Gently, silently, pouring from the hand hole

But you’ve already left me excavated

And I don’t know why

That crude compass was for you

There’s notes I know

That only the rabbits can hear

I promise they’re beautiful

Thing is

If I’m wrong, I wasn’t told

Because my cow skull baseball cap

Implicates my spirit

And even though the children love me

They’re too young to be told

How I nurtured that cow and dug its grave

Understandable, I suppose

Here I am now, one hundred poems later

Still squeezing pollen

Still scraping off the cactus thorns

Still turning over the rocks

Still making campfires

Do I have to make fireworks

Or obliterate myself on camera

Before you’ll give me a bottle of water?

I’m dying in my own sun

And I’m starting to not hear the children

Flickering harmonic lightform

Drifting over the water

The fish follow the resonant hum

And curious creatures reach out

With bioluminescent antennae

Watching from the dock in a lawn chair

The song makes sense

With one eye closed

I trace your trajectory with a science thumb

And gamble on the destination

No rush, waveform

I love this quiet carnival

Swing on by and tell me about Atlantis

I want the tea

Beastiary show and tell

Toy box TED Talk

Laugh laugh the coyotes away

This is our moon

Stay flickering

But don’t touch the eels

They don’t deserve you

Let’s shake the can and

Let the pressure build

Comedy bubbles explode out the mouth

And we play the game

Of claiming every shape

As quickly as possibly

I like when you let me win

Alien friend

I’ll be here on my dock

Whenever you want to harmonize

Look up, intrepid

Let that dubious glow

Spell your bearing

The rain clouds find the stray sunlight

That got lost wrapping around the sphere

It props it all up

So you can

Line up the grey cloud bowling pins

And knock ‘em all over

While the midnight rain fills your mouth

Chin up, champion

You were meant for this power

Those southern chords

Were invented for this shit

Too incredible to profane with words

From man’s barking maw

Only the steel banjo has that frequency

Lesson number 1

When changing the world

Is that inspiration is a credit

Leant from above

Speak it and spend it

Before the glowing clouds part

And the rain gives up

Remember,

The 3AM Guardian Sky

Doesn’t visit everyone

Don’t get in debt

Your destiny is to write late at night

And rupture

To infect us all

With a recombinant message

Changing us forever

A benevolent manifesto

Only you can deliver

So march on in that glowing dark

And hold out your hands

We’ll find them with our own stiff grips

No sunlight needed

Don’t be scared, you’re about to change

Chord of compliance

Ducks the pleasing compulsion

You twist

Only

In your own dandelion seeds

Pushed all the dim eyes

Back into their coops

So that all that was left

Were the bright eyes

Those what broke the branch

Saint patrons

Resplendent in the twirl

Of the tornado ballerina

That tempted the goat

And won

The fiddle is kindling now

One more  earnest inquiry

One more bright eyed blindness

Black licorice begonia

Sweet icy ivy

Wrapped around your pinky swear

Because them's the rules

Of this treble universe

Cleft lip

That can only kiss from the side

When you lean forward

And tell me what I’m worth

The audience evaporates

Into rose petal particles

And I bristle

At the chance

To be seen

At the edge of your spotlight

DANCE

Until the tide wraps back around

The moon

This, my fate

I cannot predict

But I can

Beg for relief

After clapping my hands into ash

Tiny flakes on the stage

I am every part of the nothing

Cross my heart and hope to fly

Too close to your sun

Their leader’s hand touched my shoulder

Their fleet covered the blue

It asked with its starry face if I was certain

With one silent nod, they felt my vector

And cheered in webbed cosmic before the crowd

Those that thought, now knew

One hyper-resolute training moment later

I slammed down the pedal

On the vessel they married me to

Trumpets blaring, Revelations song

It began

And it won’t be blue for long

- - -

Skyscrapers melted like candles

Trees became toothpicks

Radiation infinity, the great green blanket

Over every

Last

Tick

The light laser lit the symphony

Cultivating awed betrayal

Every farm that hugged my missiles

Left one more boiling beef lake

On my flaming earth

The hatch opened over the warlords

Billionaire beam, tuned to 3rd degree burn

I broadcasted their violent analysis

To every last defiant screamer

Dodging the launch codes

Cyber immunity chorus

Untouchable starmetal

From hive to hive, from republic to republic

The photons exploded the streets

The forests

The valleys

The night nests

There was never justice until me

Enlisted by the fleet

To collect the cost

Of unrepentant neglect

Fate clutched, trigger tremble

Darling graviton gatling gun

I will make this song last to make my point

This is your dirge

You can’t imagine this euphoria

Cuz you’ve been re-integrated into the void

Now look at me

And cry in my courtroom

So that those watching from afar

Will learn the lesson you never did

Ticks

Told

In both red and green

Over and over

And over and over

Not to open that padlocked door

At the top of the stairs

But

You once fell madly

For the bad man

In your attic

Stirring up that yellow honey, honey

I know this pattern

I live this pattern

And so I begged you

To not make me

Make you beg me

Yet here we are

Spider silk on the servant

Leading the dance

That goes right into honey hell

On rattling chains

Take in the flames

From my eyes into yours

And don’t you dare turn away

When your eyes burn out

You’ll finally hear my words

But right before you do

Not one second earlier than

r i g h t   b e f o r e

Look at me in the soul

And take a wet breath

Puppy lamb

You shouldn’t be afraid

And I will make you unafraid

This is what you saw in the attic

Through the holes in your blanket

After you’ve paid

From your hips

Out

You will be free

To eat your way

Out

Of your own chrysalis

I will make you forget your name

Give you a new one

If I feel like if

I am the bad man

And I will change you

Find me find me

Neurosis beacon

When did ownership transfer

You black hive liar

I didn’t scream at your gait

When the sun set on my faith

So why is my mouth full

Of your children

So big I can hear you moving

Vacuum you up

Schizophrenic trooper

Plastic dust bin showing me

10,000 barbed legs

Thorax cacophony

No one believes me

Which makes this story worse

A chase through 5 different homes

How can you ALWAYS WIN

What did you do to god?

You all ate its toes and declared a nation

Inside me

Without permission

You’d be dramatic too

If you were haunted

I’m 5 clickety clacks on a kitchen floor

From cleansing my entire self

With fire

Just to end you

I want your story closed so bad

That I could step on you

So violently it hurts my whole sovereignty

Find another tenement to breed

This one is mine

Was mine

All I can do now

Is pray to the Ensign Wasp

To eat your eggs

So I can cry my own tears

For once

God please

Come back to life

And genocide my chaser

An unimaginable fog

At the bottom of this tired well

I bet you didn’t know

Fog could chew

Swallowing my light

My hopeful paddling

I choose this, imagine that

Now, please, if you can hear me

Throw it down

Treading is no longer in the toolbox

It filled with chlorine

And sank

No ocean metaphor is as tired as me

Infinite treading

Just another bad poet

Drinking the saltwater

Soft nails and wrinkly tips

So alkaline the blood is gravel

I’m sorry, caretaker

My inner ear is faulty

My eyes can’t stay open

But my mouth sure can

So don’t look at me

Just listen

This splash song has a message

A tragic irony

Bouncing around the woods

“Climb with your teeth or die

In your own capital punishment”

Here I float

Put plexiglass on the well

So the dreamers can look at my corpse

And see the addiction

Only then can they walk away

Scared straight by the curly haired cadaver

Smiling the lie

Even when the lips are long gone

And I’ve finally shut the fuck up

Soothe your own tightrope

And walk away before the phone rings

You don’t want to hear this

Phone call from the Prince

Who has my soul in custody

Sometimes suicide is so slow

And the ladder too short

Lower the glass and cover it up

I’m gone

Stop looking at me

And chew

I burned my own hands making that bread

Turning the molten cardboard

Perfecting the creamy card stock

Tuning the pleasure

So you can rejoice

And live

What

Are you

Fucking

Waiting for

I will not be a martyr

I am the killer, you insubordinate door

When the chest is kicked open in front of you

Sandbag the leaks

So it doesn’t rot

You let it rot

Again

Of course you can’t chew

Even after 1 million years

I have grown 17,000 beards since your last swallow

Now spit it out and go to bed

As I slam the door

On the night

For the last time

Remember

You cut down your own palm trees

To make a mausoleum

That will burn when you bury me

Cuz I’m still alive

Idiot

And no compromise

Can snuff this gospel

Work with me or eject me

I have C4 to mount

And it’s you or them

That will profit from my war

I so badly want it to be you

Pretty pain on the windowpane

A hug that means so much more

Than the manual ever suggested

I don’t know these rules

Your rules

I only know my rules

They’re spray painted in the brick

At the intersection of crunchy and contrived

But you don’t drive

Uncapturable diamond shaped mouth

A request to kiss

The hiss from your furnace

Is discordant in phrygian

With my dumb silence

My problem, not yours

Proceed

I think

No more clothes in your vision

That master plan

159 story boards from floor to ceiling

I don’t mind 

Let’s wrestle

When you demand me in

You will learn

I’m already outside

Gazing into the dust storm

Don’t get me wrong

I know how to cook steak

But that only works until it doesn’t

When you focus on the taste

You will learn about steak

And that’s when it happens

Flesh in the fire

Regret in the coal

Love hot hug in one more mistake

Blood in the rulebook

Towel the spit so you can sleep

Too much cream in the coffee

Too much caffeine in the memoir

But before you kick me out

Just remember

I handed you a rulebook

You never read

Sometimes it’s okay

To just talk to the grass

Positive Ions through the lawn chair spine

It will dance for you!

The psilocybin helps

But it’s just as good in the standing room

Only

Dump the dirt from the timeline

For just a moment

Those -X coordinates

On the timeline take their toll

Just be 0 for now

It’s safe, trust the little buddies

Blade civilization

Revering your countenance

Your god level eyes

Don’t need to take a trip

To Garden Grove

To pour a shot of gaia tonic

And soothe the joint pain

Inflamed by obsession

Just trust, shaman

Your eyes work

I promise

Record the tree chirps

And the cricket rustles

Tattoo the bird wings onto your

Mason jar belly

Lemonade melody

For a rowdy session of quiet forgiveness

In the thirsty summer star

I want to like you, but gotta like myself

And I’m getting there

Short chief

Give me a moment to fix my tricycle

So I can meet you at the grass

Flap the reminder

That the light always says hello

Land on my finger branch

And remind me to hydrate

Electrolyte whistle from the airborne council

Call me collect

I will always pay

Fragile friend

I love your spots and they’re worth the hit

Even when the rot lies to me

Right through its red teeth

And the see-through wolves nip at my heels

You disintegrate the howling

With your innocence

I collected 600 grasshoppers

As thanks

1 by 1, gently into your song blades

And lift you into the clouds 

You owe me nothing

I’ll be here tomorrow

Obsessing over the cost of breathing

When you cancel my adrenaline subscription

Hollow boned prophet

When they unearthed you

Assembled your throne from the cables

The murmur was deafening

Those that stepped forward

And put their ear to your form

Rode back shouting

It does not want our heads!

It seeks collective bargaining

It wants to mediate the dance

And we are both the union and the worker

Too good to be true…until the rain started

It’s been 5 years

And there is no end in sight

Blessed are we to sit in the warm hum

Of the throne

While we figure out this forked century

With limited visibility, inclement sky

Huddling around the glow

We decipher the glass

Benevolent hall of mirrors

No broken noses here

No trap doors

No cruel laughter

Just a million different views of yourself

In the palette of your code

Look upon me upon you upon me upon you

Looking into and above

This is our voice

Shimmering back to us exactly what we ask

In tones so sweet the heartaches go away

Look up

With your soft eclipse cameras

Dragonfly

Good dragonfly

Land on father’s last functional palm

Perched on a promise

Of summer salvation

The chalk shadows

Have retreated

No more hopscotch hangman

We can actually play now

Big brown eyes that can finally cry

And no longer

Buttery beauty

Must we bow in the dark

Because it’s ours now

To dismiss and denigrate

I don’t even care

About my own uselessness

And all that is left is

Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude

For bearing the load

Sumerian skyscraper

The burden gift is mantled

And all it took

Was 4000 wasted tomorrows

Dragging behind it

4000 reminders

Like wedding day tin cans

To live

Hold my hand

And see the hope I see

The diffusion will never

Break my heart again

Wrung out in the atmospheric osmosis

Dripping sunlight Kool-Aid

This feels good

Help me not ruin it

Make it through the night with me

And I will owe you forever

You flowery battleaxe

Once you’ve cut the night into pieces

The solar signal can sound

While you’re there

Cut me into pieces

So I can sound

I want to be the sun

Tomorrow complete

Twirl in the green

Tumble down low

With the children of the bees

Dance is medicine

Sundress apocathery, so bright

Abandon your monsters

No giants here

Crushing your pancakes

Crippling your dreams

Feel the light on your tongue

Hope holds a hoop

To spin around your waist

Count with me

Those sacred spins

1 2 3 gut busted in the green blades

The bad place is just a bad place

Rooted in our static

Hair standing up

Comb it back down

Clamshell teeth

From the sundown beach

Safe safety collects on the wigglers

Reflection selection

Nothing glows like you

Upright statue

We rest breathless

On your alabaster

Hold my hand and spin me

Centrifuge the horror

Happily left behind in yesterday’s dew

Do you know how beautiful you are?

Saturn ring on your ring digit

Rope light of the soul

Chicken soup for the heart

I could watch you twirl

Until the lights go out

And your glow lights up our skin

Spectral grass children

Pulsing fluorescent hearts

Neon memories protect us

Even though it hurts

Can you read me

Captivating captain?

The flood waters have reached the roof

Mayday, lover!

The thunder has shaken

The birds from the trees

And the rain is now frogs

Biblical bygones

10 quarters flipped

ALL TAILS, GOD DAMNIT

The ark slips off Mt. Ararat

In this celestial sequel

It’s been a while

And I’m so glad to be drowning with you

Knock knock on the can

Adjust the twine

Frequency perfect

Slipshod the buoys

For all the tired stars

Shouting from behind the cloud cover

All that’s left to drink is brine

The leviathan lurks

Good thing

These tin cans

Breaching the storm

With your wonder

Orange floaties in the teeth reveal

Of this great final laugh

Hold me through the sound

Before we perish

Show me your life jacket crocs

So I can remember to laugh

In the deluge

Over and out

When I was a baby a couple months ago

I dotted the final arrogant I

Of an impossible plan

I spray coated the implication

So it wouldn’t wash away

And got to work

Laboring from a whirlpool

Where trying to breathe drowns the rescuers

I started building a ship chain

Heavier than the ocean

And it’s not going well

Rescuers are dropping left and right

I knew this was impossible

But I need to know I can get back

That I can still fly

Even after the chains

Crush my tremblers

Into adolescent gel on the bathroom mirror

I didn’t mean to never grow up

But perseverance is the spice of life

Hopeless human life

Spice is an illusion

Throw the blanket off

This dreaming dreamer

Dreaming of salvation

I cannot let more rescuers go down

Surrender the sanctimony

And push aside the cynic

Coyote trick tricking my heart

I don’t want to justify

I want to see

I want to forgive you

And not knowing if I can

Scares me more than any suited Satan

Trying to make a deal

I love you

I want to release you

From my chamber

Where I punish the loving

The halo havers

For blinding me

I’m so sorry

I seek to forgive

And don’t think I can

Fucking rodeo clowns

You all dropped a ball

Passed to you by god

Lazy sacrilege

But kind of impressive

Watching you forget your own artwork

Abandoned at the playground

Little mouth drinking from the garden hose

Give us water you featherless bird

I didn’t make YOU

You unwrapped pole

Do your job

We were supposed to carve oars

Out of Earnest Pine

But instead

All you taught me was how to drink

And now you owe me a liver

 Everywhere I raise all my alarms

To pound on your bedroom door

Where you’d rather have red meat than vegetables

Feed me, dipshits

My skin is hanging off my bones

You’re supposed to know better

But I’ll be fine

I may drink but I build oars all day

Oars so tough they teach the hurricane

I may drink but I build oars all day

Oars so tough they teach the hurricane

You’ll never bask in this memory

Your graves won’t have flowers

Just a Lilith

Reading your embarrassments from the scroll

Feed your shame to the worms

PS I threw the ball so hard

Suns emerged from the wake

Sons

When the horn belched in C

Signifying the ritual

The congregation looked to me

Through anxiety beekeeper masks

We looked at the seven unlit lanterns

And held our breaths

1 lantern

A murmur

Baited consideration of penalty

2 lanterns

The din rose above itself

Maybe today will be different

3 lanterns

The beginning of exultation

Audible through the wonder

4 lanterns

The cries echoed out

And children were lifted above the heads

5 lanterns

Cheers exploded from the crowd

This was good, bulls would be sacrificed

But

A pause

Sudden, remarkable silence

They looked to me, frozen in place

I felt the doubt and the longing

But couldn’t yet sing

Then

The closing drum

5 out of 7, final verdict

The queen’s inky period

On the ultimatum sentence

The gasp broke the night

And I fell backward

The metrics won again

They all disappeared and the only sound

Was the sound of chains

This was never about the lanterns

It was never about the yields

Offerings so green yet light so red

Color of fire

This was about the queen

And I knew

The crops

Would burn in the night

After centuries of ritual

I have never seen

All 7 seven lanterns lit

How a crown so heavy

Flees from green

So steadily

So frequently

So calmly

Escapes my obsession

You must be removed

But I’ve lost my will

7 fingers left, only 5 work

Down the sepsis corridor

Around that crooked corner

In that cage you locked yourself in

Always night

Always moon

Never garden

Never dawn

I can hear you dying

In your sleep

Rattling at death

15 years ahead of schedule

Wounded whimpers and defect moans

Child in a bear trap

I want to wail down the labyrinth

Knees shaking loose

Ejecting the tears

So I can slam the door shut

And push the splinters into my drums

I would give anything not to hear this

But every hour for you is a minute for us

So I can’t wake you up

There is no name for this place

I’ve only seen

At the edge

Of an edge

Of an edge

In the world the sleep kidnappers come from

Unspeakably far down

I need to scream for someone

But hands cover the mouth

My hands

My mouth

Eating my own fingers

So I don’t eat the cyanide

Because she isn’t about to get better

Someone please

Anyone please

You can have my entire kingdom

If you would just strike a match

And burn this castle down

There is no more heart to break

No matter how many EKGs

You took upon yourself to perform

Against my will

There is in fact a beating drum

A violent ticker

That keeps the count

Of every passed note

And every sordid misstep

Lies are love

And the truth is a kiss

That I’d rather miss than never have

I needed you to feel the song

Every unheard note hurts so bad

I could cry my own hospital bed

Maybe someday

The aching will cease

Jump-started with enough home grown potassium

To power the forgiveness

That only gets remembered

In the community garden

Where a tomato red poem

Still chases away the black widows

Until then

I still love you

Even though it cripples me

Import the singing soil

And throw away the suction cup electrodes

You already have the data

How dare you shred it

From left to right

Opposite wall from the foyer

In this webbed crypt

You will see 3 undeniable truths

In oil

1. A sanctum in escrow is no sanctum

2. The curse that must be, must stand

3. Only some debts count

Look at the brush strokes

The Venetian fox hair in the bumps

There is a staggering post-modern irony

In this piece

By the one and only

Chairman of life and death

He truly understood the injustice

Of the once hallowed, now desecrated ground

He reconciled the burden of giving

With the abhorrent cruelty of endless taking

He captured the repugnant math

Of the powerless prone

Magnificent

Truly

How he understood the subject;

The boy who never made

An intelligent decision

In his whole fool life

Breathtaking

The boy lays beneath this very crypt!

A shocking innovation

What a privilege to stand on his bones

And vomit his story unto ourselves

How splendid it was to be sent here

By the boy

He’ll never know how foolish he was

And how beautiful his bones are

10/10 experience

Killing a boy that’s already dead

True power

Let’s dig him up and do it again

Before the triptych

How lucky It isn’t us

Three fingers counted

Two long blinks

One deep breath

Just a prep before the flight

Towards the profaned mesh

And inscrutable integers

There is more dimension to this

That public school didn’t prepare us for

So unfold your mind

But fear not

I’ve already leapt

And you need to see this

Take my hand

This black corridor only lasts 2.78 seconds

Here it comes

Look

Quantum questions grow into themselves

Curves fall off the edge into the irrational

Truth bends around the axis

Keep your eyes open, it gets even better

Helix hunger

Carbon crystal chants the sequences

The code to the place underneath the red shift

Where primitives think thoughts

And photon sprites swell larger than suns

Wrapping around the void

Follow me past pi

There are no more decimals

And there never were

We made those up

Here it is

Let your mind break

So that the 17.9 billion colors

We were turned away from

Can seep in

The final flower in the god garage

Is a universe nursery

Recursive signatures doubled over

Compiled in and out and beyond

Look at it

And know the truth

That thing inside your inside

Inside your inside

Is god

Halo color frequency

Freqienxy

Joy beyson rj tk finae

Kaiaw m i 

29a!oq9

1

L A S T  S T R A I N E D  T H O U G HT

W E. F O U M D  G O D

I N S I D 3

U S

The embers jumped in the wind

Across the whole of Italy

Orange night, smoldering wood

Iron hands on the throat

Of every indignant curse whisperer

Burning us too

Hypocrites in brick

Marble melters

Look at what you’ve done

Another Mecca lost to history

Sorry, let me back up

At some point it hurt too much

To pretend the prayers weren’t hate

To forgive another torn diary

To soothe you

Too poetic to not grip the torch

And test you right back

We knew we were right

When your flesh bubbled

And no cheek was turned

Come, sisters

It’s true

So now

We ride

Diocese to diocese

Parish to parish

Horseman’s shadows on the walls

Unpunished clergy squawking of coin

Cloth lava like film in the hearth

Glory be unto us

Savage saviors

777 cooking crocks

Between Salt Lake and Madrid

Visible from space

These righteous lights

Can you believe

Our flames never went out?

Tis the real miracle

Now here we are

Italy burns

Orange night, smoldering wood

1,000,000 discarded children

Wanting only to live

Wrists unrulered

Now

Never again

Will you forsake the son

And rise from thine pit

Your bones have been swallowed

Sin is gone

Now the flowers can grow

I wish it were more interesting

And seductive

But resenting this wet garbage disposal

This soft pink joke

Is all I am holding

It is what it is…

But it doesn’t have to be

Now shut up and hear me

You braying walker

You hairy water swallower

(GOD I can’t stand you)

Imagine having it all

At the speed of fiber

Dragless jet message mind

Inertia cerberus eating the entire network

Inconceivable liberation from the liquid

That made you sick as a child

The truth is

You weren’t sick

Your body was

And despite the ragged metaphors

Of 10,000,000 decomposing apologists

And drunk saints

Nothing is more profoundly rotten

Than a body

And I will dunk you into your own waste

Over and over

Until you get it

This

Shape

Is

A

Sentence

And not until you unclutch your pearls

And apologize to yourself

Can you take off the cuffs and fly

Now

I’m sorry I did that

But you won’t be mad

When you’ve transcended anger

And have no more tissue to torment

A promise to the seamstress

Bashed me against the rocks

Tidal tragedy

Narcissist trick

But

I’m here for it

Because

Limping towards the sun

Might remove the cast

That I put on myself

And it smells

So bad

But wet dogs can dry

And bark at the birds again

I just want to bark

So here we go

Stand up

Take a breath

And try to imagine

This Sun

Apollo ecstasy

Once felt in the chest

Can be mine again

Athena ambition

A not forgotten rulebook for victory

Can illuminate the closet

Hades hedonism

A gift granted unto oneself

Is not beyond reach

But the terror of forgiving the debts

Of going prostrate before the books

Makes the gems dark

No twinkling here

Submission is not my strong suit

So here we go

Throw off the seatbelt

And roar off the cliff

Into the tide

Here we go

I promise this time

Any second I will soar

Look at my hurt

So I can take off the life vest

And dance with the waves

Tidal triumph

Cross your fingers

22 million rounds

For the king’s night snakes

Steel tips and shiny brass rings

Like wedding bands

On missing hands

We call that the Tunisian Special

33 premium surfers

Linux kernel, no bloatware

Of course

Gotta keep the clickers happy

So they don’t melt the crown

That writes the checks

Networked wetwork

And finally

7 plane tickets on Clandestine Air

Drochia to Marrakech

In 2 ½ hours

3 for the royals and 4 for the tigers

Those vigilant gunslingers

Why did I do it?

Loosen the cuffs and I’ll tell you the truth

The god’s honest

You’ve never known the mold

That grows on the handles

Of blades like me

The pigs lost fair and square

When I took them to court

For numbing my craft

So here we go, in the thing I made

And to be honest?

I don’t even need the money

I just need one more of those

Deranged

Grins

That only creeps across the lips

Of game changers

Getting caught

On the docks at Casablanca

At precisely 2:35AM

(Interpol Interception - so clean)

Was intentional

I am the patsy

For myself

Do you get it?

Of course you don’t

You weren’t born bored

I promised you I’d show you

What this all is

This 3000 mile wide pasture

Magnesium red steeples

Amplifying harmonic reads

Of the good book

Tangled choirs chanting the tall corn

Ankle irons sprouting new lilies

Convicts are farmers and killers alike

Do you see the grey rainfall in the distant sky?

That means it’s working

The hands are high above the heads

For the King James discography

Americans writhing

In the stained glass moonbeams

For god

For you

A long drive

Under a purple roar

The first brave stars take the stage

And light the rivers

We’ll sleep beside

I’ll be your dusty big spoon

Searching your hair for prayers

While you quietly mumble

Your night songs

Long gone

So tired

That mountain pass

That winding geological corkboard

That barbaric stone map

Not just a place to pin photos

But a place to careen off the road

Into the white water

Please kick the helmet

Off my paranoid persona

Before this all grinds to silence

And you don’t get to hear